Exposed

“This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.” ‭‭John‬ ‭3:19 — 21‬ ‭NIV‬‬

The other day, I was filling out a form for an organization I’m a part of, and I had the opportunity to be dishonest.

The form had a series of checkboxes for activities that had to be completed throughout the school year, but we had only done three of the five. Because of this, our organization could not remain in good standing.

But, because there weren’t any systems in place to prove we were being honest in reporting our activities, I could have just checked all the boxes anyways.

I knew that I had to be truthful, but I checked all the boxes… I didn’t submit the form, though.

Several people I asked for advice told me to just submit it. The professor overseeing our organization would never know. The group would remain in good standing. I wouldn’t have to worry about any consequences.


“This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.” ‭‭John‬ ‭3:19 — 20‬‬


Then, I called my mom.

She told me what I knew she would. I needed to talk to the professor to ask how to address the checkboxes.

So, I put on a brave face and called.

The professor took the news that our organization hadn’t accomplished all it needed well. I explained the situation, and we arrived at the conclusion that I could only check the boxes that portrayed the truth. Next year’s leadership would be made aware of the requirements and would carry out the proper activities unlike this year.

I went back to my computer, unchecked the boxes that were lies, and submitted the form.


*sigh*


Why was this such a struggle for me? Why did it take someone else telling me to do the difficult thing for me to be honest?

Do I feel more comfortable in darkness than light?

Like John 3 says, we are afraid of being exposed by the light, so we hide in the darkness.

Honestly, there are certain things I would rather just go on my merry way doing instead of acknowledging them as sins.

However, I don’t want to be held back in my relationship with God because of an affinity towards darkness. I don’t want fear to keep me from closeness with Jesus.

“But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.” ‭‭John‬ ‭3:21

I don’t know about you, but I want to be someone who lives by the truth and comes into the light. I don’t want to spend any more time hiding in darkness for fear of exposure.

So, I’m going to share with you a few struggles of mine that keep me further from Jesus.

  1. Complacency — doing what’s easy over what’s right
  2. Food — I’m probably addicted to sugar, and there are so many moments that I should eat healthily to keep my body in good shape (as my body is a temple), but I choose to indulge selfishly over having restraint.
  3. TV — I spend hours and hours and hours watching things on Netflix, Hulu, etc., when I could be reading the Bible. Yet, I complain about not having enough time with the Lord. (Hypocritical? I think so.) And that doesn’t even take into account how inappropriate a lot of the shows I watch are. I justify it, but I really should be mindful of what I take in.
  4. Social Media — Ever since creating an Instagram account for my lettering, I’ve spent so many wasted minutes scrolling and scrolling when I should be getting ready for my day. This is one thing that most often eats into the time I set aside for God. I tell myself I’ll spend the first ten minutes of every day reading the Bible and praying, but I most often lay in bed scrolling. Classy, I know.

These are some of the things I know I need to stop pursuing so heavily. While some of them are totally fine in moderation, they are consuming my time and my priorities. I’m acting out of selfish indulgence rather than reverence for my Creator.

I exposed these sins to you so you can keep me accountable and so you can feel supported in confessing your sins. You don’t need to type them all out, but repentance is a hugely necessary act in life.

Join me in the light — let’s pursue a life of truth together.

And in the future, if you come across a moment where you have to decide between the right thing and the easy thing, just listen to the Holy Spirit.

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